A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
