I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
