But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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