I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize