i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
