I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize