just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize