So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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