good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
