I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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