You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
