i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
