I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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