I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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