So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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