I'm really into asian looking animals
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
