I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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