Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize