ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
