i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
