The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize