Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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