My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
