whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
