No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
