Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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