I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
