He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
false alarm. still invincible.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
