we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
