chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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