I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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