This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
