Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
