Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize