im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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