Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
