I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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