Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
