Swine flu. Run for my life!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
as a side note pls kill me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
