Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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