Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
no, he came in my armpit
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
