butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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