i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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