it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
How's work?
Spinning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
