Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
