Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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