My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she peed on how many people?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
