this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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