Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
we're so committed to being not committed
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