11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
