The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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