Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
