So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
