walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
