it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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