I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We need to get me chipped asap
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
