I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
