Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize