"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
